revive my heart oh God.

i am devoid of any meaningful, rational thought.
i long for the confusion to be dispelled, the darkness to be illuminated, the uncertainity vanquished. i have wallowed in these self deprecating thoughts for far too long, thus confirming the fact that i have rejected the complete sufficiency of the Lord's redeeming work. i am seemingly engrossed in my past failures, sins and weaknesses. withholding from Christ that which I am most in need of healing from.

meandering thoughts

it is quiet here. in this secluded place. isolation. so much to say. when the opportunity arises, i am mute. how is it that I am so loud in my own head? this vision of myself will likely never become a reality. music has become my fortress, to hide in a world that will never understand. inhibition pervades every rational thought.

the subtleties of language escape my grasp. thought has meandered its way into some nifty little crevice that these neurons of mine do not feel up to exploring. content with sloth, all synapses have been barred. so once again, i am left with no word to fumble my way through. no sentences to re-arrange. no paragraphs to attempt to explain. no way to further explore these emotions which claim so much of my energy. there's nothing left in my mind.but empty space.